As I probably stated before, I have a lot of time to think about things. There is a plethora of subjects that occupy my brain at different times. A frequent visitor to my brain is of course, the human mind.

I often think about what I want to do in the future. Many people know that I want to be a police officer. But I'm not actually sure what I want to do yet. I guess if nothing else works out, then sure, I would love to be an officer of the law.

We often want to do things in the future but something at the back of our head is saying that is probably not going to work out.

I really don't know how the future is going to play out. I really wish I could, though.

I've just went over some of my peers' blogs and I've realized how little I have been putting in my posts... haha. I'm going to try to write longer ones from now on.

Today, I was planning on doing some SAT Math practice by myself. But naturally, that didn't happen. I woke up at 12:30 and stayed on my computer doing nothing productive until 7 o'clock. I really don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

I really wonder why some people like myself say they're going to do things, but end up not doing it at all and aren't disturbed by that fact. I'm sure psychology has an answer to my question.

Or maybe it's  not psychology. Maybe it's common sense. Let me think.

Hmm... I think people neglect their duties due to a lack of motivation and effort. But that can't be my case, because I have a clear motivation to practice my SAT Math. Actually, I have multiple motivations. The largest one is that I can increase my score so I can attend a better college. The second one is that my mother said she would buy me a moped if my score was above 2000. But I still neglect my work and duties.

I hope I can find the answer to this throughout my studies in the coming year.

I have not posted a blog for a while now. I think its because I've been lazy. I will try to make up for the missed weeks with a longer post this time.

Going back to what I just said: I am fully aware that I am very lazy- to a point where it would be harmful to my life. I see people around me working really hard and talking about schoolwork everywhere I go at this school and it seems that they are very stressed. But, I do not feel any type of stress at all. I just try to do whatever is enough to get by. I don't mean that I just want to pass, but I am happy with an "OK" score, such as a "B" in a class, or an 1800, or a 3 or 4 on an AP test. I will never push myself to be great, to be at the top.

I'm still not sure why, but I think its because I don't expect to be great in life. Some people want to go out and make lots of money, be entrepreneurs, businessmen, lawyers, celebrities- basically have an enjoyable life filled with luxury- and who wouldn't? But I am content with the thought that I would be a normal, average Joe. Marry somebody, support a family, live in an average house. Due to this, I think it is a problem with motivation. If I am happy with an average future, then I am only willing to put in an average effort to get an average score to get into an average college.

Or, it could just be because I'm giving myself excuses for being lazy. Maybe I just don't like to work. I just like to be on my computer, sleep, and eat. Maybe not even eat. I've been trying to maintain an exercise schedule to help me with my problem here, but naturally, I don't do a good job maintaining that schedule.

The worst part is that even though I know I'm lazy and I realize its very bad, I don't do anything to correct it. I'm too lazy to correct my laziness.